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Dec. 23rd, 2009

  • 7:50 AM

I have an interview at Red Robin this afternoon. I'm kind of stoked on it. I've always wanted to work at a restaurant. Ya dig? Plus, I need to get me some more money. Davey's situation isn't getting any better. He can't find a job. I was upset about it, but now I'm like "whatever". His fault, not mine. Sounds shitty, I know, but quite frankly, I'm done feeling sad and pissed off all of the time for something that could've been avoided (Him robbing stores and shit for being too damn lazy and finding a job when he was younger).

Anyway, hopefully it works out (the 2nd job) for me, and I can finally pay off what I owe and get me a spiffy freakin' apartment! There are some across the street from my current job - www.eagleridgeatcenterra.com.

Aside from all of that, everything is going dandy. This side of the mountain is pretty damn awesome. Last weekend I went shopping out in Fort Collins, then out here in Loveland then went back home to Greeley. Everything is 15mins away and it rules my face. Denver is only 45mins. Nothing better than that!

Rumor has it that my buddy Fonz and his wife are moving out here soon, too. As well as Toby. Then we'll wait for Los and Holly, and lastly, Alura. Super stoked!

Don't have plans for New Year's Eve yet. Wanted to head out to denver and hang out with Maiser, but weather conditions might suck and well, I'd rather spend the money I'm spending on gas and hotel out there, out here at a spiffy nice hotel and spend it in bed. Sleeping. Man, oh man. I miss my bed and good nights sleep. No joke! But there is a show at Blast-O-Mat that night.. Hmm.. Only going if Abe and Toby come out, though. Word.

I'm a little homesick. Miss my family lots, the TYC family and of course, Heather and Deherrera. Lots. Bluh.


Anywoot! Getting off of work at 1pm tomorrow. Haven't told my mom yet. She thinks I should be home at 10p.. I'll be there at 6p now! :)

Oh yeah.. Start school on August 23rd, bud. Woohoo!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!


xo

Hello.

  • Nov. 23rd, 2009 at 3:20 PM

I didn't feel like going back and reading what the last thing I posted was. Oh..


I have moved out of Grand Junction, CO. Yes. It FINALLY happened. I moved to Greeley, not 100% better, but it's not Grand Junction. I am about 45 mins away from Denver and that is all that matters!

I snagged myself a pretty sweet job in Loveland. Alls I do is enter information in our system from mortgage companies, and send that info out to the IRS. The best of it all, I get to listen to my iPod all day! :)

We should be getting our own little apartment soon. It's a basement apartment. Two-bedrooms. And amazingly enough, it's only $300/month!! I'm hoping it happens soon. Living with the Mother-In-Law is not as fun as some of you may think :p

The parks out here are beautiful. Honestly, I've never seen anything like them!

So far, it's been fun. There's something about college towns that I totally dig. First Goleta now Greeley. Nothing but good times.

Haven't been able to hang out with Joe or Maiser. Kinda sucks, but we've only been here for a month.. time will come to hang!

Plans to come: Dec. 5th = Dancetron @ Hi-Dive! STOKED!!
X-mas = Junction
New Years = Denver. And hopefully Toby and Layna make it. Should be hella good times.


Health wise:
I am on birth-control once again. I started my period one day and it never stopped; 3 months with a period wasn't the greatest. We were still trying to conceive, but the Doctor said I was crazy if I thought I was going to be able to. She put me on birth-control to regulate my periods and we're also hoping that the cyst minimizes. So far, I have no pain or discomfort like I had 2 months ago. I'm really hoping it's gotten smaller. This time, I need to follow Doctor's rules. I need to stay on birth-control, go in to see the doctor before I get off of them and I need all kinds of tests done before I try to conceive again. Ya know, to make sure all is fine for the baby to grow. Hmm.. if it ever actually happens - There's a slight possibility I may not be able to conceive. The left ovary has expanded way too much and there is definitely too much scar tissue. Hmph!

Everything else, life is grand. It's getting better. Him and I are dandy. He still doesn't have a job, but we're being patient! He's amzing and I love him more than anything in this world.


No new buds, yet. Whack! Haha.

More official-ness

  • Dec. 21st, 2008 at 9:30 AM

...he proposed last night.
Like it should be.
One knee and all.
Our lovely stuffed Tiger Freddy helped him ask me the question.
It was the most adorable thing ever!



We might get married in Vegas...next month.

Dec. 20th, 2008

  • 10:53 PM

Its official: I've moved in.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm so fucking scared.
I'm afraid of it being a mistake.
I'm so fucking retarded for thinking like this, I know....





I can't stop crying.

P.S.

  • Oct. 16th, 2008 at 6:14 PM

Sep. 22nd, 2008

  • 5:34 AM

I'm not going to lie to you, him or anyone anymore.
This whole thing is seriously getting the best of me.
My Mom sits there and tells me it is not a big deal, and that I shouldn't worry.
D tells me I shouldn't worry and quit thinking negatively.
I can't sit here and pretend it doesn't bother me.
There hasn't been a day that I don't go to sleep without having a cry fest.
The only times I'm okay is if he's laying down next to me.
I feel safe and I feel like nothing can touch me.

I broke down on Thursday and I told him that I was so scared.
This whole thing is fucking scary.
It's eating me up inside.
If I continue getting these procedures done... It'll be the death of me.
"I don't know how you will take this, call me crazy, lame, and corny, but I've always wanted to be someone Mommy... Davey, if this continues, I won't have that privilege anymore. I don't want them to take that away from me..." And I began to cry even harder, and he cried with me. He said everything was going to be fine. He said no one will ever take that away from me. He said when all of this is over, time can only tell... And when it is my time to be a Mommy, it'll happen. And that I will be the most amazing Mommy in the whole universe.

We hung out Friday night.
We went and watched Igor and it was fun times.
For the first time ever, he was totally affectionate with me.... in public.
We're not the "let's hold hands whilst walking down the street" kind of people.
We sat in the theater, he held my hand, he kissed me lots and he was just amazing.
We pretty much spent the night together and it was awesome.
On Saturday, we drove to Glenwood and I made him drive.
He hold my hand the whole way there and back.
He's so freakin' adorable. He still gives me butterflies :)

Last night I didn't hear from until midnight.
It kind of sucked because I had to talk to him, to someone, really bad.
I couldn't stop crying.
My whole family knows about what is going on, and I feel like they all feel sorry for me.
They're all being uber nice to me, and being real attentive. It's just weird.
I don't want anyone to pity me.

Him: "Hi, baby.. I called you to tell you I love you. Lots. Lots and lots. And more. And lots..."
Her: "I love you, too... Davey, just leave me. Please. As much as it'll suck for me, and as much as my heart will ache, just leave me.."
Him: "Alma, understand that I will never leave you. If I decide to physically leave, you're coming with me. I'm not going to leave you. Not my baby. No. Get that through your head. When you said to me on Saturday that you'd go anywhere with me, I knew you meant it. And right then and there I knew you were truly mine, forever."
Her: "I want to make you the happiest turkey butt ever, but I don't think I can do it. I can't even do it for myself."
Him: "I am the happiest turkey butt ever. I am so fucking lucky to be with you. You make me super happy and I love you so much more for it.."
Her: "You too make me happy, but.."
Him: "No but's! We'll make each other happy, okay?"
Her: "Okay..."
Him: "Baby, I have to go to sleep now, and you should too. No more crying, okay?"
Her: "I can't make any promises."
Him: "Well then, I'll stay on the phone and fall asleep with you."
Her: "No no no. Go to bed. I'll go back to sleep."
Him: "No. I have to make sure my baby is okay.."
Her: "You're amazing, you know that?"
Him: "You too. Hey, do you trust me?"
Her: "Why do you ask?"
Him: "My friend Kelley was saying how she can't trust her boyfriend..."
Her: "I'm not Kelley. I do trust you. It's hard, though. I trust quickly, and I trust easily, knowing that I can very well be fucked over, but you're different. We've come a long way... You're too good to be true. Is there a catch?"
Him: "I am really an alien."
Her: "Sweet."
Him: "Yup. We'll have half-human, half-alien babies! RAWR!!!"
Her: "Haha.. I bet our Mom's will dig that!"
Him: "Okay, okay, now that you're giggling, I know you're smiling. Go mimi's. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Text me when you wake up. I loves youuuu."
Her: "Okay. I loves you, too. Night.
Him: "Hey, I promise you I'll try my best to make everything better for you."
Her: "It's okay. Don't stress. You're supposed to be the strong one this time around."
Him: "Will do. I have massive, puny guns."
Her: "I love your massive, puny guns."
Him: "Yay! Night, sugar plum!"
Her: "Good night, honey balls."


I'm exhausted.
Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.
It doesn't help that the only day I had, and will have, off was Saturday. I'm working every day, non-stop for the next 2 1/2 weeks. I'm working 8+ hours daily, on Sundays (my usual day off) I'll be working 10 hrs. I will have 118-120 hours worked in one pay period. That's 40 hours of over-time. That's like, 3 weeks worked in 2 weeks. Cuh-razy! But hey, I'll have bling-bling. I need the money for my trip. I want, and must, have an awesome time. I'm sure I will. Can't wait!

When I get back, I get my second procedure done.
I'll be bed-rested for a month.
After I'm 'healed', Davey said he's taking me out of town and he's going to make it the best, most amazing time-away-from-town. I'm excited for that, too.

I am the luckiest-unlucky girl ever.

My thoughts run 100mph

  • Jun. 5th, 2008 at 6:25 PM

- I do this to myself.

- I did come the conclusion that I am very well emotionally unstable and maybe I should see a Doctor.

- I'm getting myself in a really bad position and it's been real hard to get through it. It's clearly something I'm not used to doing. I give up a lot. I'm lazy when it comes to real life events. I'd rather run away from problems than deal with them.

- I'm letting go. A lot. I'm so fucking scared, as I've always been.

- I've already been hurting but because I read too into things. I'm just scarred from previous heartbreak and disappointments; I'm used to it. I expect it.

- I told him what I had to. I told him what I felt, how I felt. I told him what he means to me. I told him I'd wait. I told him I'd leave.. if that's what he wants me to do.

- We drove to Glendwood last night. It was awesome. But the texts came in. He was occupied. Then he grunts and I ask what was the matter and he said, "Girls. This girl that just called me when we were chilling at 7-11 is pissed at me and thinks I want nothing to do with her because I told her I'd call her back." What else am I supposed to think. I got quiet. He leaned over and kissed me. I cringed. I tried swallowing the huge ball in my throat; I wasn't going to cry in front of him.

- I'm a big fucking mess about this and I must admit, I am so in it. I'm so into him. After I thought I'd never let it happen. It happened. And I can't take it back.

- I have fallen in love. Think whatever you want, it's hard to admit, but it's true.

- He's got the best of me. He knows it.

- I was smart last night. He wanted to have sex. I declined. I don't want to be just that. I don't want him to only hang out when he needs to get laid.

- I made him a care package. I put a lot of detail into it. That's where my confessions came into place. I made him a booklet. I thought it was amazing. He still has yet to say anything about it. Though he did say he wanted us to run away... again.

- I'm trying to get him to talk to me more. It's difficult. He's got trust issues like me, but I'm a terrible friend if I can't confide in him. Yet he won't open up.

- Why does life have to suck so much?

- Why does my heart continue getting broken into pieces?

- Why does this happen over and over? It's reoccurring.

- Am I a terrible person?

- Is this payback for something I did in the past that I'm not aware of?

- I'm trying to get him to focus on me again.

- I'm trying to stand out again. Slowly, though, I feel like I can't do it.

- Those girls he talks to, they're gorgeous. Skinny, tiny, blonde and beautiful. Everything that I am not.

- Why am I so hard on myself?

- I have invited him over tonight. He said, "Not right now, maybe later"

- He kissed me goodnight last night in my front yard, and I didn't want it to stop.

- I was walking up to my door, and I came back to his car. I reached in and kissed him really, really hard. He said, "I want to spend the night". I said, "You can...". He said, "I don't want to piss off your Dad.." I said, "Well... you can leave before he wakes up.." He said, "Soon, we won't have to deal with this. We'll run away and be happy. Goodnight, baby"

- I love how time stops when I touch his lips with mine.

- I miss him already.

- I want him so badly.

- I've been thinking: "Maybe we should run away and never look back...."

Friends only

  • Jan. 16th, 2006 at 12:01 AM







comment, and i'll add.

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